Last year, I talked about not feeling energies. A friend talked with me about it and helped me to realize that maybe I do feel the energies, simply in a different ways than others. Because my experiences were not like the ones I've read about, I assumed it was something wrong with me. I do still believe that I am missing something, but it can be fixed. Looking back on my path, I figured out that I took many shortcuts. Simply reading about practices and rituals is not the same as actually putting them into action. I thought I could skip the "easy" steps and move onto the spell work. I tried to build a Pagan practice without creating a foundation on which to build. And now I'm paying the price.
So, time for Awakening 2.0, the right way. I kept a few of my beginner's books and plan to work through those again. This time without skipping the important basics. I am learning the deities I'm meant to work with and how to work properly with Artemis, the goddess I've been drawn to since childhood, long before I knew I was Pagan. I will build proper altars and use the tools. I will try other forms of divination aside from tarot, though I will continue with it as well, starting with the pendulum. It is something I can practice anytime, anywhere as long as I have on my pentagram necklace. My main pendulum will be a moonstone point I bought to honor Artemis. And a friend and I are working with "Empowering Your Life with Wicca" by Sirona Knight. It has twelve steps of empowering to reach my goals of love, health and prosperity. We'll take a week for each step (unless more are needed) and hopefully take control of many pressing issues.
While I know I can do the occasional quick spell for small things, I'll take the time on important work to call a circle, to work with all of the elements. I can only awaken my gifts and potential if I'm willing to do the work. All of the work. No whining that it's not working. No shortcuts. I'm very excited to begin to get to know my deities and what I can do with (and for) them. Another post last year mentioned a MAJOR problem I want to work on; the fracking in my area. That problem is too big for me alone. I will need to call on all who will listen, human and Goddess alike to repair such damage on a global scale.
I feel energy differently depending on what kind of work I am doing. I work with it a lot because I am an energy healer as well as being a Pagan and a witch.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am doing magical work, I sense the energy as a build up of pressure around me and a knowing of when it is ready to be released.
When I am doing energy healing work on someone else the air just feels different to my hands when they move to within the recipient's energy field. I can't feel blockages as such, but I just seem to know where they are when I concentrate on finding them. Areas where energy is escaping (often the site of injury or illness) present as a cold wind coming off the person. The greater the injury, or the more accute, the colder and stronger that wind.
When I am doing energy work on myself, I can't feel anything at all. This did bother me, and I've listened to others who worry that because they can't feel it, it isn't working.
What I think is happening here is that when you do energy healing work, that energy is sent out from your body at a certain frequency, the same frequency that your own energy field vibrates at. You can't feel the energy flow because it matches your own. Doesn't mean it isn't working though.
Now, where I had trouble was with visualisation. The whole picture an apple in your mind thing, and time and again I was told that I needed more practice and I wasn't doing it right because I just could not get the image apple to appear in my head. Until I decided that maybe the reason why I didn't "see" images was because that's not the way my mind works.
If you tell me to visualise an apple, well I might catch glimpses of red. I can pull up a vivid recall of what it smells like and tastes like and i can describe it to another. Oddly enough, I can sometimes see the word apple spelled out. Most of the time, it just presents as a "knowing" that what I have before me in my mind is an apple.
In the same way, when I do journeywork I can come back and tell you where I was and what I saw and what messages I was given. But I won't have "seen" any of it. Most of it will just appear as thoughts or feelings.
If you sense anything differently from what is considered "normal" that doesn't make your experiences any less right. It just means you experience and process it in a different way.
Blessings,
Nan
Thanks. :) It's a good way to think about my energies and their frequencies.
DeleteI'm totally opposite on visualization. It was something I picked up fairly quickly. I guess we all have things we have to work harder at than others.